Loving Umar Part 2 ... Edited version

THREE YEARS BEFORE

TAYO
My heart skipped an actual beat, then it slowed down for a second or two, then it started racing so fast I could barely catch a breath. The reason for the odd behavior of my heart was standing, like a vision, right in front of me. He was the African version of Adonis, the Greek god. He was uncommonly tall, like six feet five inches, with a well-toned body and fantastic abs. I could see his abs because he had taken off his shirt in order to fix the vehicle he was hunkered over. If his body was beautiful, it was nothing compared to the face of this creature. His eyes were shaped like small almonds and their pupils were a deep brown, his nose was straight and pointed, his lips were slim and sensual and his skin was an even caramel hue.
He stood up and stretched out and I marveled at the way his muscles rippled in unison with all his stretching movements. Amina nudged me awake, “I’m glad you approve,” she said sarcastically, “although I’m not sure if ‘approve’ isn’t an understatement. Heh! Heh!”
“Very funny Mina”, I said rolling my eyes toward the sky.
“Umar! Umar! I’m home!” Amina was positively shrieking at the top of her voice as she ran toward her elder brother. He jumped a little at the sound of her voice, turned around with a slight look of surprise on his face and then, when it finally dawned on him what was happening, he broke into a smile that did the impossible: made him even more perfect than he previously was. He swept his little sister into his arms and laughed joyously, “So how is our little degree holder doing?”
“I’m fine! I’m fine!” came the laughing reply, “Oya put me down! Haba! people will think I am the elder child here. I came in to open the gate seeing as how my horn is bad, but I didn’t think you would be home”.
“Oh? I’m on leave oh! I was supposed to hang out with Yaro and the other boys, but this car…” he kicked the wheel of the car in a burst of pure anger. I noticed a shadow of fear cross Mina’s face, but it was gone so quickly that I was not sure if it was ever there. Then she said with a smile, “Haba Umar! Geskiya, it’s not such a big deal. I mean I can see Mama’s car in the driveway, and even if she is going out, you can use mine now I’m home.” He smiled and said, “Minnie babe, but you are a life saver, geskiya, a real life saver!”
“Whatever boy!”, even though I could see that she was blushing. I had watched this exchange between brother and sister intently, well, okay I had watched the brother intently because I was hoping that he would raise his eyes away from his sister long enough to notice me, but I was fortunate and unfortunate. Fortunate because his steady gaze never once left his tiny sister’s face so I could drink in his delicious looks to my satisfaction, unfortunate because the fact that he took no notice of me made me feel a little awkward and insecure. I began to fidget and wish I hadn’t come home with Mina. Just at that moment I heard Mina say again, “Come meet my friend Tayo from school. Mum said she could rent the boys quarters during our service year.”
She was pointing in my direction as she made this declaration and his gaze followed her finger. When he saw me he started, and then he smiled that fabulous smile of his, he strolled toward me and stuck out his hand, “I’m guessing you are the famous Tayo, right? Minnie mouse can’t stop talking about you, apparently you are Minnie’s role model. You know she is always saying, ‘Tayo this’ and “Tayo that’. We were beginning to wonder how she would survive after school. Apparently she and my mom worked it out.”
“H… hi … I guess”, I gave my greeting laughingly because he had somehow managed to put me at ease. Umar laughed with me and then stuck his hand out again, “it seems I have put you at a disadvantage. I know who you are but you don’t know who I am.” He smiled again, “Well, I…”
“You’re Umar Tijani, Mina’s beloved elder brother, about whom I am sure I know every intimate detail, seeing as how she cannot shut her mouth up about how fabulous you are. And speaking of role models, I thought you were hers.” I pulled a wry face and Umar and Mina burst into delighted gales of laughter. “Well!”, Amina exclaimed, “You guys seem to have saved me the trouble of an introduction and you seem to be getting along. Phew!”


UMAR
I jumped when I heard Mina screech my name like that. I mean, I was already a little pissed off because my car had refused to start, spoiling my plans to hang out for a little while. So I turned toward her with the intention of berating her, or taking out my anger on her. I, however, noticed through the corner of my eye that there was someone behind her, so I forced a smile on my face and steeled my self for her ebullient greetings. Don’t get me wrong, I love my tiny younger sister to the end of the world, but she couldn’t have chosen a more wrong time to come home. Luckily, I remembered in time that she had just graduated and that was why she was home. I think I might have congratulated her, but I am not really sure because I was barely paying attention to a word she was saying. All I wanted was a car to get out of the house that day so my mind was wandering but I am almost sure we had a pretty decent conversation.
“…be home.” At those words I actually began to listen to the little dear.
“Oh? I’m on leave oh! I was supposed to hang out with Yaro and the other boys”, at this point in my explanation I started getting a bit frustrated, “but this car…” I hit the car in frustration and Minnie me backed up a bit and started blubbering something about my mom’s car being available but what caught my attention was when she offered me her car. I let the angry expression fade from my face and put on a face of extreme gratitude, hugging her and promising her the world in return for her “favor”. The little thing looked so grateful and relieved I almost felt sorry for her. Well, not really, but you know!
When I turned to look at the guest, I felt like something had slammed into my stomach. She was beautiful, if beautiful is not an understatement. Then I noticed something, any time she tried to look me in the eye she had to turn away. A slow smile spread across my face as it dawned on me. This lovely piece of art was shy; hence she could be controlled. I stood up a little taller and strode toward her as Minnie me skipped ahead to make the introductions.
When I got close to her I recognized her from pictures Minnie me had showed. She was Tayo something or other from Amina’s school. Apparently Minnie me had been so taken in by something in the young lady’s personality that she was all she ever spoke about when she came home for holidays. So when Minnie me begun to introduce her, I interrupted with a bow and said, “I’m guessing you are the famous Tayo, right? Minnie mouse can’t stop talking about you; apparently you are Minnie’s role model. You know she is always saying, ‘Tayo this’ and “Tayo that. We were beginning to wonder how she would survive after school. Apparently she and my mom worked it out.”
I was watching Tayo closely as I said this and I knew that I had struck gold when she visibly relaxed and said with a relieved laugh, “H… hi … I guess”. I laughed and she joined me. At this point I was fairly sure that I would be able to get her to date me. It was just up to me to decide whether or not I wanted to date her so I stuck out my hand and said, “It seems I have put you at a disadvantage. I know who you are but you don’t know who I am…” I took a breath and smiled and she used that time to interrupt, “You’re Umar Tijani, Mina’s beloved elder brother, about whom I am sure I know every intimate detail, seeing as how she cannot shut her mouth up about how fabulous you are. And speaking of role models, I thought you were hers.” I could tell she was trying to be funny, so I let the fact that she had interrupted me slide. She pulled a funny face and we all burst into laughter. Mina said something and we all laughed. At this point my phone rang.

TODAY

TAYO
I woke up in a room filled with flowers and edible stuff, but the thing that impressed me the most was the fact that I felt like I had been run over by a car again and again. And again! And yet again!
“Baby! You’re awake!” I heard Umar’s voice as though from a distance and I tried to turn my head to see him, but I guess I must have passed out because it seemed like all at once it was evening.
Umar said, “Don’t try to look at me or you’ll black out again. I’m glad you are awake. I was so worried. I haven’t left your side all day.”
I was a bit confused. Was this the same man that had beaten me up so thoroughly? Or had I dreamed about that beating? Just trying to figure out what was going on was making my head ache so I tried to settle the second pressing issue: “Water ”, I croaked.
“Yes! Yes!” Umar said eagerly, from the sound of things, he jumped out of his chair causing the chair to fall over. In a short time a straw was placed against my lips and I sipped the water gratefully. When I had enough, my husband took the water away, raised his seat upright and cleared his throat. “Uhm! Tayo? Honey? Can we talk?”
“About?”
“Baby, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me! If you had only done what I had asked you to do the way I wanted all this would not have happened I promise baby I will never hit you again!”
DON’T YOU DARE BELIEVE A WORD THAT HE IS UTTERING, DON’T DARE!
The voice exploded in my head causing my vision to double for a little while, I had to rest my head a bit. Where was this voice coming from and why did it sound so familiar?
“Umar honey.” I interrupted quickly. “I can’t do this any more. I’m hurting from every angle. I cannot begin to live in fear all over again. You promised! You swore you would never hit me again!” I made this speech with some difficulty as talking made my sides hurt.
Umar looked crushed, and I felt something expand in my head, but I pushed it aside quickly, I’m not naturally mean and I sure wasn’t going to take pleasure in seeing Umar look hurt.
“I swear Tayo, have no idea what came over me, but it will never happen again. I …”
“Umar, listen to me.” I was sure I didn’t want to hear all that. Again. “I have heard all this before and I am definitely not going to fall for this again. I was bleeding , bleeding, and you just kept hitting me!”
“I know, I know! But sweetheart, if you take some time to think about it, you will realize that something had to be wrong with me. that is so not me, you know that! I would never hit you so hard. And I know that I have said that I would change before, but I mean it this time baby. I have never been so scared in my life as I was when I saw you motionless on the floor.” He had started crying at some point in this tirade and at this point he broke off, unable to go on because of the storm of tears that had overcome him.
“Hey, hey, hey!” I said comforting him, “Please don’t cry.” I was really feeling like a witch.
“I’m sure we can…” But I could not complete the sentence as the voice in my head was running wild. She was screaming her head off.
TAYO, YOU DUMMY! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU ARE REALLY, REALLY THINKING OF COMPROMISING! AGAIN? HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU NEXT TIME! GIRL WHERE ARE YOUR BRAINS? TELL THAT VILE, REPULSIVE PIECE OF RUBBISH TO GET OUT OF YOUR LIFE! FOR GOOD!
“You know what Umar?” I asked
“Yes?”
“Well, normally I would have said, all was forgiven, but you almost got me killed. I need time to sort through things in my head. Right now I have mixed feelings about us.”
“But…”
“Umar please leave, you are agitating me”.
He walked out of the room with an odd expression on his face.
It was time to get some thinking done. Umar had promised to change many times, but this was the first time he had ever cried when talking about it. But then again, this was the first time he had ever beaten me up this badly. I thought about it. I frowned as I thought, can I really make it without Umar? After all how many times had he told me I was not worth the time he had invested in me. Besides, I really love him, and he loves me too!
HUSH TAYO, the voice said. At that point I recognized the voice.
“Mama?” I asked in shock, could I really be hearing my grandma’s voice in my head. I was sure that I was losing it, Mama had been dead a long time.
HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT FOOL LOVES YOU? HE HITS YOU AT EVERY TURN. SURE ENOUGH HE ALWAYS TREATS YOU LIKE A QUEEN FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS AFTER A REALLY HARD BEATING, BUT THAT DOESN’T STOP HIM FROM HURTIN YOU AGAIN! THAT IS NOT LOVE! EVEN IF IT IS, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE THE WAY YOUR MOTHER DID?
An image imbedded it self in my mind, my mother, bleeding and sick telling me not to take her to the hospital, my dad would kill her if he found out she had asked for help.
“I certainly don’t want that!” I mumbled
NOW SHE’S SHOWING SOME SENSE!
I laughed aloud and a doctor came into my room with a nurse who was carrying a tray. He was an elderly man with a head full of gray hair and a round face, which seemed to have been created for laughter and joy. He smiled at me kindly and said, “You poor dear. If only there was hope of catching the vagabonds who did this to you.” His smile turned a little sad as he shook his head and said, “But you know the conditions in this country, the police have probably forgotten about your case by now. Anyway, I believe that God will judge them.”
I was a bit lost as to what the doctor was talking about. “What do you mean ‘vagabonds’?”
“Don’t you remember? You were attacked by thieves in your home. Your husband found you and brought you here. You are lucky he brought you here when he did.”
“Oh, so that’s the story!” I said even as the voice in my head said, And your argument was? “How was I lucky?” I asked, remembering his last statement.
The doctor frowned and said, “Two of your ribs were broken, one very close to your lungs. That one broke upward and inward, piercing your left lung. The thieves also hit your kidneys a lot, causing slight damage to your kidneys. Your nose is broken, and you have a slight concussion. And you sprained a shoulder. It almost seems like those people were trying to kill you! If any more blood had entered your lungs… well it didn’t happen and for that we are grateful.” When I heard that statement, I shuddered as the look of jubilation on Umar’s face as he hit me flashed through my mind and a thought tried to form in my tired head. But I was in too much pain to consider it.
That’s a nice excuse! I started in surprise as I heard that voice, grandma really seemed to have it in for me. It’s funny watching you always try to make excuses, for how long will it continue Tayo? I was confused, I had no idea what she was talking about, so I shook my head, smiled at the doctor, and said, “I’m in so much pain.” the doctor smiled kindly and told the nurse to administer pain killers. A few minutes later I slipped into sweet oblivion. An unconsciousness that was devoid of hard decisions.
When I woke up again, it was daytime and my room was empty, my mouth felt as though I had swallowed a whole box of cotton wool. My head was swimming and I hurt in places that I previously thought it was impossible to hurt in. As I lay there, recalling the doctor’s words, I begun to feel very lonely, I wished for Umar’s comforting presence. After a few minutes I realized that my face was wet. Touching my cheeks, I realized that I was shedding tears. For what reason I know not. I wiped off the tears and thought, at least I’ll be home soon. I was just thinking it, but I got a reply anyway. I replied myself, Where is your home? If you can answer that … I pushed the thought away, scared. I didn’t even want to think about the fact that I had made a decision even in my sleep. But then the voice in my head replied for me, Home is wherever you feel safest! And I held on to that thought like it was the only thing that would keep me alive.