GrayScale... Part I

Bright colors were everywhere! Sika was being blinded by the intensity of their brilliance. Her dark eyes were wide open and her pupils had contracted until they were nothing more than horizontal slits in the immediate yellow of her eyes. Her skinny ten year old body was squeezed tightly into a corner in her room and a fist was stuffed just as tightly into her mouth, her teeth clamped down stubbornly on that little fist and they had broken through the tender skin, blood flowed freely and continuously form the wounds they caused as she clamed down even harder and stretched the wounds even more. With all this padding, little whimpers could still be heard emitting from her. These sounds were like nothing any human being could or should be allowed to make; little growls and pitiful mewls all with a haunted melody imbued into them, as though the thing making those sounds knew the essence of sorrow. At first her other arm, the right arm, was clenched in her lap, her nails clawing into her soft palm and drawing more blood, but as the pool of blood dripping from her left arm and gathering by her knees grew, she began to scribble in the blood with her right hand. She wrote neatly and in tiny letters, but she also wrote quickly. When she had finished writing, she took her fist from her mouth, raised both hands to her face, covered her face with her hands and let out a sharp, piercing scream. With her eyes shielded by her bloody hands, all she should have been able to see was black, but the colors haunted her, the images threw themselves at her eyes, the blood dripping from the ceiling was still an impossibly luminous scarlet color. The bodies were still being mauled and torn apart, and the paleness of the remnant was still dazzling white, like polished marble. The colors in the room and of the clothes was still too bright, and everything was still happening before her shielded eyes. Sika took a shaky breath and tried to close her eyes, but, again, her lids refused to close. When she saw a head being ripped from its body as easily as though a banana was being taken from a bunch, she howled in horror again, her pitch and volume even higher than the first scream. She screeched as though she was dying, and honestly speaking, at the sight of the bloody massacre, a part of her was slowly dying, very slowly, but very surely.
Her door burst open and her mum rushed into the room, at the sight of Sika huddled in a corner and seemingly covered in blood, the doctor paused, but then she rushed to her child’s side and reached out to take her into her arms. Sika flinched from her touch and tried to push herself further into the wall, blubbing insensibly as she exerted herself in an effort to avoid human contact.
“Shhh! Darling, you are alright, mummy is here.” Dr. Luna tried to reach out to her child, “Mummy is here and mummy loves you. Calm down baby, nothing can harm you”. From a faraway place, Sika heard her mothers voice and the noises she was making reduced to little whines and whimpers, she turned unseeing eyes in the direction of her mother, the massacre still taking place in her head. The colors, were, however, reducing in their intensity and the pace was slowing down. Slowly the images vanished from her sight and she was back in her room, her gray room, where there were no colors, she looked at her gray mother and looked at the gray blood on the carpet. Slowly, she realized that her world was returning to normal and she scrambled toward her mother and held her tight, sobbing fitfully, “Mo… Mother, I-I-I saw co-colors”, she managed to breathe out between sobs. Dr. Luna gasped and clung to her daughter, exhilarated and frightened at the same time.

********************************************************************************************

Sika had been born on a gray day, the clouds had been gray and dreary, hanging heavy with impending rain, the sun that struggled to shine through the clouds had also had a strange tinge of gray to it. The trees in Fall Town had appeared to agree with the weather and all the vegetation in Fall Town had seemed to have a grayish cast over them that day. Nobody seemed to notice, but Dr. Luna had noticed that even the people seemed a little gray themselves when you got right down to it. When her child was born, the doctors thought that she was jaundiced because the whites of her eyes where yellow, but upon testing, they found that she was as healthy as could be, the only other strange thing being that when the baby’s pupils dilated, they turned into horizontal slits, like snake eyes. When the child was presented to her mother, she kept turning her head from side to side and the nurses laughed, “Look at the little seeker.” One said teasingly. Everybody laughed and another replied, “Yes, she does look like she is seeking after something don’t you think?” “Probably her place in life!” “And at such an early age too”.
Dr. Luna smiled around the room in agreement, “Yes”, she said softly, silencing the laughing nurse, “She does look like a little seeker, doesn’t she? My little seeker. So be it little one, you have picked your name, Sika Luna.”
“Oh!” The youngest nurse breathed out in bliss, “Sika Luna! What a delightfully exotic name. everybody laughed and the little baby tilted her head to one side and smiled like she knew what was so funny.
As time went on, it was discovered that Sika had a rare disorder, fantastically rare even amongst it class. Sika was color blind! It wasn’t like she was a protanope, or a deuteranope, or even a tritanope. She suffered from all three. She basically saw in shades of gray, one doctor had tried to make light of it and had referred to her as a walking grayscale monitor. Another doctor had said, “Ma’am, it’s the strangest thing, but it appears that your daughter can see only one color. She sees everything in dirty intermediate shades of gray. The three forms of colorblindness are so rare to begin with, but this, this is an impossibility”. Riben Luna had felt lost, her husband had died in a car crash, the day she had discovered she was pregnant with Sika, the pregnancy had been a very difficult one, so much so that she was always in the maternity section provided by the lab for scientists working on material so delicate they were not allowed to interact with the outside world until it was over. After such a difficult delivery, they were trying to tell her that her daughter could not see colors. They had, however, made it through the years. Sika had grown up to be a quiet child with an unusual level of intelligence. She was a sweet child, very affectionate and reserved to the point of austerity.

WHO KILLED DELE ODEYEMI

I can't remember any of it... they tell me i did it... they tell me i was the

culprit...truly, the only thing i remember is seeing the blood on her hands as she

walked away. I don't even know who she was. I remember that morning... it

was raining and I was put off because I had planned to go to the market, so I

put off my phone because if anyone had called me, I would have pissed off a

bunch of people. I spent the day indoors, tidying up the house after that I

picked up Daphne Du Muarier's Rebbecca and read for a few minutes...I read it

until I got a migraine and it was midday by then... so I took a Midol and half a

Valium, in about half an hour i was dead to the world. That is all i remember

about that day. Why won't anyone believe me? Okay, okay so i sort of recall a

lady walking out of my room... that should clear me right? Wrong? They say it

means one of two things, either i remember more than i say i do... or i made her

up to defend myself. they continuously ask me who this mystery lady was...

why no sign of her in the house why i was splashed in his blood. When i tell

them i don't even know who he is, they ask me why a lot of witnesses have us

together recently... that draws a blank! am i going mad!??? Who is Dele

Odeyemi? How did he get into my house? Why? Who killed him? Why? all these

questions and a few more run through my mind.

They say, "Don't leave town!"I'm a little confused, where would i run to even if

I wanted to leave, I have no family outside Lagos and very few friends even

within the city. Plus, my curiosity has been aroused, i won't be satisfied till all of

my questions have been answered. So i made up my mind to stay in town and

find out who killed Dele Odeyemi?

Loving Umar iv... The conclusion

TAYO
… The day nurse woke us up. “Agatha? What are you doing all the way here?” Agatha, for that was the child’s name, gave her a sleepy grin. “Morning, nurse,” she said, “I couldn’t sleep and so I took a walk. I wanted to walk so I walked. I was too tired to go back to my room. Agatha hugged me and said, “Love does not…” She scrunched up her face trying to remember the word. “Hurt”, I supplied the word for her and was rewarded with another bright smile. She hugged me again and climbed down the bed. Looking over her head I saw Umar at the door scowling.

TWO YEARS LATER
TAYO
I heaved a sigh of complete gratification as I sank into the bath tub. I was back home, where I belonged. The bathtub was filled with lavender scented water and bubbles. There was a glass of Champagne within my reach and Darwin Hobbs’s He’s Able was straining out softly from the overhead speakers. The lights were off in the bathroom and there were scented candles lit everywhere. The candle light bouncing of the rose colored walls gave the bathroom a warm glow, the way the world looks during the perfect sunset.
The water felt great on my body and I felt all the tension gained from lying on a hard bed wash away into the heat of the water. I sipped my champagne and smiled as I thought about the wonderful day I had and the wonderful night I had ahead of me. The song ended and Asa’s Subway started playing.
As I toweled my self I recalled the scene at the hospital. That was the last time I had seen Umar in two years, and that was the beginning of my empowerment as a woman.
Umar had come to the hospital to bully me into obedience as usual. The minute I saw him grandma spoke up in my head, Now or never Tayo, you know what you ought to do. As if on cue, Agatha looked back at me smiled and said, “Love doesn’t hurt.” She waved and let herself be ushered out by the day nurse. Before Umar could say a word I told him that I was going to go along with his plan. When a confident smile threatened to break forth I told him that the marriage was over. I could not continue to live with a man that did not love me. He started to tell me the usual story about how he really loved me, but sometimes I could be so stupid and I got him so angry. I cut him short and told him, “Love heals. It corrects gently. If you loved me you would have at least owned up. I can’t explain it, but, somehow, now I know that if you ever loved me, you would never have tried to break me, mold me into your idea of a perfect woman. You would have accepted me, mistakes and all and encouraged me and made me feel secure. How can I feel dread anytime the man who claims he loves me draws near? Why should I be afraid that I would offend you? I should want your happiness, not out of fear, but out of, at least respect. I may not know what love is, but I do know it cannot be found in our house and for that reason I am leaving you.”
Umar’s face had contorted and a series of emotions raced through his eyes, then he said softly, “Where do you think you will go. What do you think will become of you. You are nothing without me?”
At that instant it was as though I could finally see my husband, I mean the real Umar. I realized he was afraid! I don’t know what he was afraid of but I knew then that all his actions were motivated by fear, and I also saw, sadly, that there was nothing I could do about it. I straightened up in my sickbed and looked my husband straight in the eye.
“Yes, Umar, I am something without you. I am Omotayo Ladipo. And I will survive, somehow, because I know that I might not be worth as much as a lot of people, but I am worth more than Umar Hassan.” Weakened by that speech I closed my eyes and said, “You may leave now. It would serve to your interest not to show up here again.” I turned away from the door and went to sleep, smiling.
When I got discharged from the hospital, I went straight to my grandmother’s house in Ibadan. She had willed the house to me and that was the place where I felt happiest. I quickly got a new job and I settled in here. I had learned at least one thing by loving Umar: It is sometimes safest to love from a distance. Wish them well, pray for them and by all means help them if they need it, but some people ought to be kept at arms length.
As I walked into my bedroom to dress up for bed the last song on my play list started up. It was Flying Without Wings by Ruben Studdard. I smiled as I realized that was what had happened that day, two years ago; I had taken a huge leap from the top of a steep cliff, and instead of dropping like a stone as I had expected, I had flown. Of course from time to time heavy winds buffeted me and made me long for the security that is marriage, but I held fast and slowly taught myself how to heal. I learned that I am a beautiful, special woman of whom there is no double, I also think I am quite intelligent because in the past two years, I have risen rather in my chosen field, rising to the rank of branch manger in less than two years.
Today is the second anniversary of my emancipation from fear, and I celebrated it by loving my self and the world at large. I spent the day at an orphanage playing with the children, cooking for them, bathing them, telling them stories and suchlike. Tonight I am pampering my self, learning to live with the thoughts in my head. My grandma? She must be resting in peace now because since the day I told Umar to bug off I haven’t heard a word from her. I am free and I am loved, if not by anyone else, then at least by myself and by God, and that is all that matters now.

Loving Umar III... Edited Version

UMAR
When I left my wife’s sickbed, I was scared. What did she mean, she was not gong to be able to do “this” anymore? What in the world was “this”? I have never felt as helpless and out of control of my life as I did then. Everything was spiraling out of control. What was I going to do without her? What had I done wrong? Had I shown weakness? I had to fix this. I knew what I had to do!
I took the next u-turn and swung into Ceddi Plaza, once in there, I headed straight to the flower shop. As I was entering the shop, I saw a younger couple walking, the girl’s expression was that of one who was struggling not to cry and the man had a defiant, slightly guilty expression on his face. I stopped cold as a memory invaded my senses, I felt like I was literally being sucked into the past…


TWO YEARS BEFORE

UMAR
Tayo was shedding serious tears. We had been dating now for a little over five months, and I realized, early on, that the woman had no idea what respect for the man in your life meant. There were days when we were going out and she would wear clothes which I really did not consider appropriate for the occasion, but she never asked my opinion before she put them on, and she seemed to expect me to be impressed when I saw her. At first I all I had done was hint to her how I thought a woman ought to present herself. Not that I particularly cared what she wore; she looked great in anything, but I can’t go around telling her that. No, then she would be almost impossible to control and one day she would just walk out on me. So on our third date, I told her that we were going to grab a bite at Barceló’s and then, maybe, catch a movie after work. She decided to wear a pair of jeans and a well –fitted long tee and she looked great, but, she had not asked me what she ought to wear. I would not stand for that and so I told her that if I had wanted to be seen as a pimp, I would have hired an escort. When I saw the dumb look that crossed her face. I said, “Not only does she dress like a prostitute, she acts like a dumb, crack-loving prostitute.”
The expression on her face at those words was one that I have never seen before, she looked simultaneously angered, shocked, dismayed and hurt. The shock and dismay I could live with, the fear was perfect because fear breeds respect and fear births total obedience, but the anger! I knew at that moment that I would have to teach the lady standing before me that when I corrected her I expected her to be grateful. Anger indeed. What right did she have to get upset because I told her what was what? Why should I give her the impression that she could get away with any thing just because I was beginning to love her? At this point I realized that the dummy was talking to me so I turned my attention to her words.
“… wearing.” This was all that I heard so I asked her to repeat herself, “What is wrong with what I am wearing?” The fool had guts, I had to hand it to her, she might be dumb and might come across as a bit shy, but she certainly had guts. I smiled, I knew how to handle guts, “What is wrong with what you are wearing?” I repeated, inflecting a tone of incredibility into my voice and grabbing her arm as I spoke, “I’ll show you what’s wrong with it!” I dragged her back into her room and stood her in front of the full length mirror attached to the back of the door. “First off, I think we should start with the make up; any of those sluts standing outside Ibiza at night would be pleased if they could paint their faces as well as you do.” I tipped my head to the side, “but then again, maybe not! You have more powder on than a circus clown, and the shade of lipstick on your lips? It makes your already too large lips look bulbous! Let me tell you something, you are lucky I even deigned to look twice at you, you ugly swine. The sight of you makes me sick”.
The trick here was to make her feel worse about herself than she already did on a good day. Mina had told me that Tayo was the exact duplicate of her mum, it was as though they had put her mum in a Xerox machine and Tayo was the result, or as Mina colorfully put it, it was as though her mum had vomited and, boom, there Tayo was. Her dad, however, was a hopeless drunk who, every chance he got, did not hesitate to tell her mum, that she was uglier than hope. The man was a verbal genius! According to Mina, he had once told her mum that she looked like a cross between a pig, a dog and a bull. Tayo grew up hearing these things about her mum, and her dad never noticed her except when he was yelling at her mum to come pick her dirty dog out of his way, before he kicked it. Worst of all for Tayo, according to Mina, all her life, my girlfriend had been hearing how much she looked like her mum. So calling her an ugly swine, was reinforcing inner fears, I amaze myself sometimes!
When Tayo heard those words, something interesting happened, she changed somehow. It was as though she visibly deflated, all the animation went out of her face, all the fight went out of her and it was almost possible to see a withdrawal. As though some part of her had just retreated into an invisible shell. But I was not done yet, far from it in fact. She had turned her head away so that she would not have to look at her image. I took her chin in my hand and forced her to look. “Not only are you ugly, you are getting fat, and the tight shirt just helps us see all that. Who told you I want to be reminded every time I look at you just how hideous your body is. And skinny jeans? Honey, the operative word is skinny, and that is so not you right now. What you should be wearing is those long sleeves office shirts that hide all your uncomfortable places and slacks, because they are neither tight nor loose. That way no one can see how hideously huge you’ve gotten, and you have the added plus of always looking, if not smart, then at least business like wherever you are.” She nodded lifelessly at the end of my speech and turned to go to the bathroom. “I assume you are going to go change?” At her nod I smiled and said, “good girl”.
That had been a while ago. Today she was crying, and I was inwardly jubilant because I had been able at last to bring her to such remorse. She finally realized that I was always right. Triumph flared in my heart causing my blood to flow a little faster and making the world spin out of perspective. The world was small, and I was big. So big! Ha! This is the way it was meant to be. a woman ought to submit before her man. Even if it takes tears to do it.
The reason for her tears was



TAYO
really simple actually. I remember it vividly. It was about five months after we had started dating. Umar had just moved out of his parents’ home and I had just moved in with him. The apartment was a two bedroom luxury, with a lovely sitting room and a well equipped kitchen. There was a little room to the left of the sitting room with a washing machine, the laundry room. I remember that apartment vividly, it was the first time I had ever lived with a man that was not my late father. When we went shopping for furniture, Umar had turned down every choice I made. I remember a beautiful sitting room set that I pointed out , at least I thought it was beautiful until Umar pointed out the fact that it was imitation leather. He said I had the fashion sense of a dog and that I am useless without him. How true that is.
I was on leave the month we moved into the apartment, so I had time to really clean up. The house was so clean you could even eat off the floor of the bathroom… you know… if… that is… you know… your thing. I prepared egusi and pounded yam for Umar and then went upstairs to have another bath.
When Umar got home, I was curled up in a chair reading a novel.
“Oh! Hi honey”, I said, getting up to hug him, but he was on the phone and he turned back to close the door. I went into the kitchen to warm his food and set it out. By the time he made it to the dining table, there was a steaming dish on the table. He kissed me on the forehead and sat down to eat. One taste was all it took. The food was all over the walls, the plates had become shattered fragments of a wasted day, and Umar… Umar looked like he was about to burst.
“I have never tasted such rubbish in my life”, he roared, “Yes, rubbish”, he reiterated when he saw me cringe away from the word. “I am sure that the food in the rubbish cans outside tastes better than this trash! Who taught you how to cook? Or did you just wake up in the morning and decide that you knew what to do with the pots and pans? You waste of woman! I mean, I understand that you are fat and ugly! I mean I’ve survived that these past months, but to add to the assault of my essence, the sloth can’t cook!” then he spat in my face. All this time I had stood woodenly, facing him with my head bowed. My late mother had been a fabulous cook, and she had taught me how to cook, so, naturally, I had assumed that my cooking was good too. I was grateful to Umar for disabusing me of this notion, but I also wished that he had done it a bit more gently. But to voice this out was to risk Umar’s fury, and further upbraiding. When he called me a sloth, I looked up so that his spittle entered straight into my right eye. That was all it took! I began to cry. Loud wailing sobs that I am sure the neighbours could hear. He took me by my shoulders and shook me, “Shut up you great fool! Why are you crying? I told you the truth. If you don’t want me to tell you the truth with my fists you will reduce the pitch, tempo and volume of those tears. What do the tears do? Will they teach you to be a better cook? Come on will you stop that noise?” At the last command he raised his hand as though he was going to hit me. that action stunned me into silence for Umar had never raised a hand against me before this time. Oh, don’t get me wrong, he yelled a lot, but that was only to correct me. I mean, I made him so angry sometimes, but to hit me? Who was this man standing before me, gripping my shoulder so hard that I knew that spot was going to hurt till Wednesday? Who was this monster with its hand raised to hit me?
For the first time since I met this handsome man, I felt the first stirrings of fear in my stomach. The next second the hand dropped and the one gripping my shoulder fell to my waist as he pulled me in for a quick embrace. “What would you do without me dummy?” he asked affectionately as I hugged him back fiercely. The fear had dropped out of sight as soon as the hand had dropped. As I turned away to fetch a broom and rags to clean up the mess, he asked me one final question, “You know you’re nothing without me, right?”




TODAY
TAYO
I jerked awake and realized that I had been dreaming about my past with Umar. I was drenched in sweat and the fear that pervaded my heart actually caused it to stop beating for a while. I was depressed and filled with hate. I wanted to lash out, I had to destroy something. I was filled with rage, I wanted to make the whole world feel the way I had felt for so long. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to laugh, I wanted to kill, I wanted to heal. I ended up sleeping. I had a funny dream that night, I was a little girl again and I was sitting on my grandmother’s laps. Grandma was telling me another story and I was listening intently. I cannot remember now what the story was about, but the end of the story will forever be with me. Grandma turned me around and said softly, “But he said that vagrants put you in the hospital. That can’t be right, Tayo. Your husband beat you up hard enough to puncture your lungs. As though that were not bad enough, he lied to the doctors about how you got into that condition. He said thieves put you in the hospital. What thieves? The one thief that refused to steal a thing from your house? The one that did not have to break into the house?” She snorted in disgust and said, holding my chin tight and looking me dead in the eye, “Love is not supposed to hurt. Do you remember me telling your mother that? Love does not hurt, instead it heals and strengthens and makes whole. Do you hear me child? Love is not hateful! Do you hear me child? Do you hear me? Do you…”
“…hear me?”, the hand shaking me awake was very small. I woke up, groggy from my drug induced dream, already forgetting the first half of it. Disoriented, I looked at the tiny hand shaking me awake, trying to figure out why the doctors hand was so small. Bit by bit, I began to get my bearing and I realized that a child was shaking me awake, even as I reached that realization, the absurdity of it hit me. I turned my head to look into the grinning face of a cute little girl. She had to be ten if she was older than eight, trying to smile in reply, I said, “Hello, how did you get here?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” came the prompt reply, “So I took a walk from the children’s section. I was passing your room when I heard you talk and sleep”
Her choice of words moved me to laughter, that is, until the pain in my side reminded me how dangerous laughing could be. “So while I was talking and sleeping what did I say?”
She frowned as she said, “ ‘Love does not hurt?’ That’s what you kept saying. What does hurt mean?”
“Pain”, I said absently, thinking about my dream.
“Oh!” she said thoughtfully, “Pain is bad, love is good, so love does not pain.” She smiled brightly again.
“What do you know about pain?” I smiled back at her.
“Aunty, I’m tired can I lie down with you?”
“Of course darling.” I moved a little so she would have space to lie down. Laughing a little I told her to make sure she doesn’t kick or move about as my whole body was aching.

UMAR
I could not sleep! I kept asking myself what games Tayo was trying to play, this was all wrong, where was the little kitten that I could toss around at will? I knew she was still there because she had been willing to listen to me at first. What had come over her, and, more importantly, how was I to regain control over my wife. Then I got angry, who did she think she was, playing these games with me? Am I not the man in my house anymore. If she were here, I would teach her a lesson or two about the person who is really in control in this house. After a while, fear came calling again. I hope Tayo did not tell them what really happened.
The rate the thoughts were running through my mind meant that sleep was surely not far off so when I dozed off I was not surprised. What surprised me was the succession of dreams which I was subjected to. In all of them, Tayo was superior to me in some form or the other. In the first one she was my boss and she was in the process of firing me when the dream dissolved into another where she was a queen and I was a lowly subject being dragged off by her guards. On and on the dreams washed over my subconscious and even though deep down I knew I was dreaming, I could not help the feeling of worthlessness that washed over me. My idiot wife had managed to emasculate me even in my sleep.
I woke up the next morning in a bad mood and drove down to the hospital without taking a bath. I meant to have her cooperation if it was the last thing I did…

Loving Umar Part 2 ... Edited version

THREE YEARS BEFORE

TAYO
My heart skipped an actual beat, then it slowed down for a second or two, then it started racing so fast I could barely catch a breath. The reason for the odd behavior of my heart was standing, like a vision, right in front of me. He was the African version of Adonis, the Greek god. He was uncommonly tall, like six feet five inches, with a well-toned body and fantastic abs. I could see his abs because he had taken off his shirt in order to fix the vehicle he was hunkered over. If his body was beautiful, it was nothing compared to the face of this creature. His eyes were shaped like small almonds and their pupils were a deep brown, his nose was straight and pointed, his lips were slim and sensual and his skin was an even caramel hue.
He stood up and stretched out and I marveled at the way his muscles rippled in unison with all his stretching movements. Amina nudged me awake, “I’m glad you approve,” she said sarcastically, “although I’m not sure if ‘approve’ isn’t an understatement. Heh! Heh!”
“Very funny Mina”, I said rolling my eyes toward the sky.
“Umar! Umar! I’m home!” Amina was positively shrieking at the top of her voice as she ran toward her elder brother. He jumped a little at the sound of her voice, turned around with a slight look of surprise on his face and then, when it finally dawned on him what was happening, he broke into a smile that did the impossible: made him even more perfect than he previously was. He swept his little sister into his arms and laughed joyously, “So how is our little degree holder doing?”
“I’m fine! I’m fine!” came the laughing reply, “Oya put me down! Haba! people will think I am the elder child here. I came in to open the gate seeing as how my horn is bad, but I didn’t think you would be home”.
“Oh? I’m on leave oh! I was supposed to hang out with Yaro and the other boys, but this car…” he kicked the wheel of the car in a burst of pure anger. I noticed a shadow of fear cross Mina’s face, but it was gone so quickly that I was not sure if it was ever there. Then she said with a smile, “Haba Umar! Geskiya, it’s not such a big deal. I mean I can see Mama’s car in the driveway, and even if she is going out, you can use mine now I’m home.” He smiled and said, “Minnie babe, but you are a life saver, geskiya, a real life saver!”
“Whatever boy!”, even though I could see that she was blushing. I had watched this exchange between brother and sister intently, well, okay I had watched the brother intently because I was hoping that he would raise his eyes away from his sister long enough to notice me, but I was fortunate and unfortunate. Fortunate because his steady gaze never once left his tiny sister’s face so I could drink in his delicious looks to my satisfaction, unfortunate because the fact that he took no notice of me made me feel a little awkward and insecure. I began to fidget and wish I hadn’t come home with Mina. Just at that moment I heard Mina say again, “Come meet my friend Tayo from school. Mum said she could rent the boys quarters during our service year.”
She was pointing in my direction as she made this declaration and his gaze followed her finger. When he saw me he started, and then he smiled that fabulous smile of his, he strolled toward me and stuck out his hand, “I’m guessing you are the famous Tayo, right? Minnie mouse can’t stop talking about you, apparently you are Minnie’s role model. You know she is always saying, ‘Tayo this’ and “Tayo that’. We were beginning to wonder how she would survive after school. Apparently she and my mom worked it out.”
“H… hi … I guess”, I gave my greeting laughingly because he had somehow managed to put me at ease. Umar laughed with me and then stuck his hand out again, “it seems I have put you at a disadvantage. I know who you are but you don’t know who I am.” He smiled again, “Well, I…”
“You’re Umar Tijani, Mina’s beloved elder brother, about whom I am sure I know every intimate detail, seeing as how she cannot shut her mouth up about how fabulous you are. And speaking of role models, I thought you were hers.” I pulled a wry face and Umar and Mina burst into delighted gales of laughter. “Well!”, Amina exclaimed, “You guys seem to have saved me the trouble of an introduction and you seem to be getting along. Phew!”


UMAR
I jumped when I heard Mina screech my name like that. I mean, I was already a little pissed off because my car had refused to start, spoiling my plans to hang out for a little while. So I turned toward her with the intention of berating her, or taking out my anger on her. I, however, noticed through the corner of my eye that there was someone behind her, so I forced a smile on my face and steeled my self for her ebullient greetings. Don’t get me wrong, I love my tiny younger sister to the end of the world, but she couldn’t have chosen a more wrong time to come home. Luckily, I remembered in time that she had just graduated and that was why she was home. I think I might have congratulated her, but I am not really sure because I was barely paying attention to a word she was saying. All I wanted was a car to get out of the house that day so my mind was wandering but I am almost sure we had a pretty decent conversation.
“…be home.” At those words I actually began to listen to the little dear.
“Oh? I’m on leave oh! I was supposed to hang out with Yaro and the other boys”, at this point in my explanation I started getting a bit frustrated, “but this car…” I hit the car in frustration and Minnie me backed up a bit and started blubbering something about my mom’s car being available but what caught my attention was when she offered me her car. I let the angry expression fade from my face and put on a face of extreme gratitude, hugging her and promising her the world in return for her “favor”. The little thing looked so grateful and relieved I almost felt sorry for her. Well, not really, but you know!
When I turned to look at the guest, I felt like something had slammed into my stomach. She was beautiful, if beautiful is not an understatement. Then I noticed something, any time she tried to look me in the eye she had to turn away. A slow smile spread across my face as it dawned on me. This lovely piece of art was shy; hence she could be controlled. I stood up a little taller and strode toward her as Minnie me skipped ahead to make the introductions.
When I got close to her I recognized her from pictures Minnie me had showed. She was Tayo something or other from Amina’s school. Apparently Minnie me had been so taken in by something in the young lady’s personality that she was all she ever spoke about when she came home for holidays. So when Minnie me begun to introduce her, I interrupted with a bow and said, “I’m guessing you are the famous Tayo, right? Minnie mouse can’t stop talking about you; apparently you are Minnie’s role model. You know she is always saying, ‘Tayo this’ and “Tayo that. We were beginning to wonder how she would survive after school. Apparently she and my mom worked it out.”
I was watching Tayo closely as I said this and I knew that I had struck gold when she visibly relaxed and said with a relieved laugh, “H… hi … I guess”. I laughed and she joined me. At this point I was fairly sure that I would be able to get her to date me. It was just up to me to decide whether or not I wanted to date her so I stuck out my hand and said, “It seems I have put you at a disadvantage. I know who you are but you don’t know who I am…” I took a breath and smiled and she used that time to interrupt, “You’re Umar Tijani, Mina’s beloved elder brother, about whom I am sure I know every intimate detail, seeing as how she cannot shut her mouth up about how fabulous you are. And speaking of role models, I thought you were hers.” I could tell she was trying to be funny, so I let the fact that she had interrupted me slide. She pulled a funny face and we all burst into laughter. Mina said something and we all laughed. At this point my phone rang.

TODAY

TAYO
I woke up in a room filled with flowers and edible stuff, but the thing that impressed me the most was the fact that I felt like I had been run over by a car again and again. And again! And yet again!
“Baby! You’re awake!” I heard Umar’s voice as though from a distance and I tried to turn my head to see him, but I guess I must have passed out because it seemed like all at once it was evening.
Umar said, “Don’t try to look at me or you’ll black out again. I’m glad you are awake. I was so worried. I haven’t left your side all day.”
I was a bit confused. Was this the same man that had beaten me up so thoroughly? Or had I dreamed about that beating? Just trying to figure out what was going on was making my head ache so I tried to settle the second pressing issue: “Water ”, I croaked.
“Yes! Yes!” Umar said eagerly, from the sound of things, he jumped out of his chair causing the chair to fall over. In a short time a straw was placed against my lips and I sipped the water gratefully. When I had enough, my husband took the water away, raised his seat upright and cleared his throat. “Uhm! Tayo? Honey? Can we talk?”
“About?”
“Baby, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me! If you had only done what I had asked you to do the way I wanted all this would not have happened I promise baby I will never hit you again!”
DON’T YOU DARE BELIEVE A WORD THAT HE IS UTTERING, DON’T DARE!
The voice exploded in my head causing my vision to double for a little while, I had to rest my head a bit. Where was this voice coming from and why did it sound so familiar?
“Umar honey.” I interrupted quickly. “I can’t do this any more. I’m hurting from every angle. I cannot begin to live in fear all over again. You promised! You swore you would never hit me again!” I made this speech with some difficulty as talking made my sides hurt.
Umar looked crushed, and I felt something expand in my head, but I pushed it aside quickly, I’m not naturally mean and I sure wasn’t going to take pleasure in seeing Umar look hurt.
“I swear Tayo, have no idea what came over me, but it will never happen again. I …”
“Umar, listen to me.” I was sure I didn’t want to hear all that. Again. “I have heard all this before and I am definitely not going to fall for this again. I was bleeding , bleeding, and you just kept hitting me!”
“I know, I know! But sweetheart, if you take some time to think about it, you will realize that something had to be wrong with me. that is so not me, you know that! I would never hit you so hard. And I know that I have said that I would change before, but I mean it this time baby. I have never been so scared in my life as I was when I saw you motionless on the floor.” He had started crying at some point in this tirade and at this point he broke off, unable to go on because of the storm of tears that had overcome him.
“Hey, hey, hey!” I said comforting him, “Please don’t cry.” I was really feeling like a witch.
“I’m sure we can…” But I could not complete the sentence as the voice in my head was running wild. She was screaming her head off.
TAYO, YOU DUMMY! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU ARE REALLY, REALLY THINKING OF COMPROMISING! AGAIN? HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU NEXT TIME! GIRL WHERE ARE YOUR BRAINS? TELL THAT VILE, REPULSIVE PIECE OF RUBBISH TO GET OUT OF YOUR LIFE! FOR GOOD!
“You know what Umar?” I asked
“Yes?”
“Well, normally I would have said, all was forgiven, but you almost got me killed. I need time to sort through things in my head. Right now I have mixed feelings about us.”
“But…”
“Umar please leave, you are agitating me”.
He walked out of the room with an odd expression on his face.
It was time to get some thinking done. Umar had promised to change many times, but this was the first time he had ever cried when talking about it. But then again, this was the first time he had ever beaten me up this badly. I thought about it. I frowned as I thought, can I really make it without Umar? After all how many times had he told me I was not worth the time he had invested in me. Besides, I really love him, and he loves me too!
HUSH TAYO, the voice said. At that point I recognized the voice.
“Mama?” I asked in shock, could I really be hearing my grandma’s voice in my head. I was sure that I was losing it, Mama had been dead a long time.
HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT FOOL LOVES YOU? HE HITS YOU AT EVERY TURN. SURE ENOUGH HE ALWAYS TREATS YOU LIKE A QUEEN FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS AFTER A REALLY HARD BEATING, BUT THAT DOESN’T STOP HIM FROM HURTIN YOU AGAIN! THAT IS NOT LOVE! EVEN IF IT IS, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE THE WAY YOUR MOTHER DID?
An image imbedded it self in my mind, my mother, bleeding and sick telling me not to take her to the hospital, my dad would kill her if he found out she had asked for help.
“I certainly don’t want that!” I mumbled
NOW SHE’S SHOWING SOME SENSE!
I laughed aloud and a doctor came into my room with a nurse who was carrying a tray. He was an elderly man with a head full of gray hair and a round face, which seemed to have been created for laughter and joy. He smiled at me kindly and said, “You poor dear. If only there was hope of catching the vagabonds who did this to you.” His smile turned a little sad as he shook his head and said, “But you know the conditions in this country, the police have probably forgotten about your case by now. Anyway, I believe that God will judge them.”
I was a bit lost as to what the doctor was talking about. “What do you mean ‘vagabonds’?”
“Don’t you remember? You were attacked by thieves in your home. Your husband found you and brought you here. You are lucky he brought you here when he did.”
“Oh, so that’s the story!” I said even as the voice in my head said, And your argument was? “How was I lucky?” I asked, remembering his last statement.
The doctor frowned and said, “Two of your ribs were broken, one very close to your lungs. That one broke upward and inward, piercing your left lung. The thieves also hit your kidneys a lot, causing slight damage to your kidneys. Your nose is broken, and you have a slight concussion. And you sprained a shoulder. It almost seems like those people were trying to kill you! If any more blood had entered your lungs… well it didn’t happen and for that we are grateful.” When I heard that statement, I shuddered as the look of jubilation on Umar’s face as he hit me flashed through my mind and a thought tried to form in my tired head. But I was in too much pain to consider it.
That’s a nice excuse! I started in surprise as I heard that voice, grandma really seemed to have it in for me. It’s funny watching you always try to make excuses, for how long will it continue Tayo? I was confused, I had no idea what she was talking about, so I shook my head, smiled at the doctor, and said, “I’m in so much pain.” the doctor smiled kindly and told the nurse to administer pain killers. A few minutes later I slipped into sweet oblivion. An unconsciousness that was devoid of hard decisions.
When I woke up again, it was daytime and my room was empty, my mouth felt as though I had swallowed a whole box of cotton wool. My head was swimming and I hurt in places that I previously thought it was impossible to hurt in. As I lay there, recalling the doctor’s words, I begun to feel very lonely, I wished for Umar’s comforting presence. After a few minutes I realized that my face was wet. Touching my cheeks, I realized that I was shedding tears. For what reason I know not. I wiped off the tears and thought, at least I’ll be home soon. I was just thinking it, but I got a reply anyway. I replied myself, Where is your home? If you can answer that … I pushed the thought away, scared. I didn’t even want to think about the fact that I had made a decision even in my sleep. But then the voice in my head replied for me, Home is wherever you feel safest! And I held on to that thought like it was the only thing that would keep me alive.

Loving Umar... Part 1...Eited Version

TAYO

The blow that landed at the back of my head caught me by surprise. I had turned away from Umar, and besides I didn’t think that he would hit me… I didn’t expect it at all. When I turned back to accost him, another punch landed fully on my face breaking my nose so painfully that a bright light invaded my vision. I can swear that I heard a crunch and I saw a bright splash of blood spurt out from my nose as though in slow motion. For a while, I was lost in an upside down world, so I shook my head gently in order to clear it and I literally saw stars. I wasn’t too sure as to what I had done that was so wrong, so I opened my mouth to ask him, that was when the next punch landed, smack in the center of my mouth, mashing my lips against my teeth. I started to cry then, soft silent sobs with bitter tears running down my face and mixing with the blood. I saw him smile gleefully and so I asked him, “Umar? What’s going on?” Even as I asked, I saw him pull back his fist for another hit so I dodged it causing him to howl in fury and kick me in my shins. I gasped in pain and slipped down to my knees. “GET UP!!!” Umar roared in anger pulling me roughly to my feet and pinned me to the wall. He slapped me again and my head rocked backward hitting the wall hard and I could only see a bright light for a moment or two. “DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU WOULD GET AWAY WITH THAT!!!? HOW SILLY!” At this point his voice begun to sound like it was coming from a distance and there was a ringing in my ears, my face felt like it was on someone else’s body. I don’t know what came over me, I just started screaming,; I screamed and I screamed and it seemed the more I screamed the angrier he became because Umar went into some kind of frenzy, beating me and shouting and kicking me as hard as he possibly could.

Soon, however, I could scream no more, and my breath was coming out in hitched sobs. The edges of my vision begun to dim out and my head was whirling. By this time, Umar had stopped for a breather and was massaging his shoulder muscles while asking, “Why do you make me hit you! If you would just behave yourself, we would never be in this situation…” His voice began to get dimmer and dimmer as another voice rang loudly in my ears, “WHAT DID YOU DO? WHY IS HE HITTING YOU?”

I jumped a little at the sound of this voice, and I looked around, turning my head slowly and gently in order to see who was asking that question. Even as I was turning my head I knew that I had heard the voice in my head and that this voice, which sounded vaguely like my grandmother’s, was asking me questions that I would never ask my self.

“Umar,” I croaked, “honey! Why?”

Umar started as though I had struck him. “Are you asking me why? You are really asking me WHY?” he slapped me at this point and my already weak body slid to the ground, I was shaking and tired, but not Umar! No! Umar was like a man possessed. He kept shouting at me, he ranted and he raved, and then he acted like he was going to hit me, causing me to cower into the wall as though I could pass through it. As he continued to rant, I started to cough. Deep boisterous sounds that rattled my whole body and put me in even more pain.

“You better be quiet! If you are not quiet I will…” Blood spurted out of my nose and my mouth and I continued to cough out blood.

Tayo baby, how did you get to this stage? I heard a roaring sound in my ears and that drowned out all other sounds, but my new friend in my head persisted in asking, how did it get so bad? How can the man that you love beat you this badly? You do realize that f you try to tell any one this they will call you a liar? This beating is unrealistic! It’s almost like he tried to kill you! Tayo baby…

I can’t remember anything else after this point, except that I seemed to fall into a quiet darkness. Now I think about it, that darkness was a relief. It meant that I wouldn’t have to face Umar’s beating and insults, it also meant that I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. I gladly let myself slip into this blessed and much needed darkness.

UMAR

I guess Tayo did not see the punch coming. I mean, how could she? After all she had turned away from me. I had planned to hit her, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have hit her so hard if she had not tried to walk away from me. I mean, I was still talking. So I lashed out a little harder than I had originally intended. When the blow landed, she staggered a little and turned around to face me with this look of utter surprise on her face. I was ready to leave off hitting her until I saw her lips move like she was about to question me, stunned by her audacity , I punched her again, this time full on in the face. As soon as I did that I regretted it, because her nose broke. How would I explain away a broken nose? I was just about to start apologizing when I noticed that she was fixing to say something. I did not have the words to tell how mad I was, so I hit her across the face again, targeting her mouth just to get the message across. I felt her teeth against my knuckles , grazing the skin of my knuckles, causing me to bleed a little, I saw blood rush out of a cut on her lips, and I saw her stagger. All these observations were made in a very abstract manner as the submissive look on her face was beginning to excite me. she looked as though she realized that she had been very stupid. As though she knew that stupidity came with a price and that price had to be paid. In fact, she looked like the Tayo I was trying to cultivate. The quiet humble woman who would be the pride of any man, but would be exclusively mine.

It had been a long time since I had been chanced to remind Tayo who was in charge in this house. My wife had been on her best behavior recently. She had done everything perfectly, there had been no cause to correct her and I was beginning to feel like a useless husband. Had she finally seen how weak I was? I had become afraid, I mean if there was nothing to correct, then she did not need me any more which meant she could walk out at anytime and I can’t have that. I know that it is not possible for such an imperfect person to become perfect all at once. So I decided to set up a small test to see if she had really become as perfect as she appeared. Boy, did it pay off!

It was a simple test really. I can’t believe that … well actually I can believe it, after all Tayo is a stupid little thing. That is why she needs my guidance and correction every once in a while. I pulled my hand back for another punch and struck her. Or at least I tried to strike her, I ended up hitting thin air. In my rage I struck her in the shins.

I came back to my self a moment later when I heard her ask me what she had done wrong. The daft lady didn’t know what she had done wrong! I was flabbergasted! Of all the gall! I turned to look at her and discovered that she was on the floor. On her knees, yet not humbled. That thought flashed through my head and it shamed me. was I so powerless that my wife no longer respected me? Had I lost so much of my masculinity that she felt she could question any of my acts? What was going on here. I was filled with so many different emotions, fear, shame and rage. Rage is good, focus on the rage, I told myself. “GET UP!” Even as I was shouting out the instruction, I was pulling her roughly to her feet and slamming her against the wall, then I struck her across the face sharply. I asked her if she had thought I would let her go free. At this point she begun to shriek, a high wordless wail that put me into a frenzy. I beat her thoroughly, throwing in some kicks for good measure. When she stopped screaming, she again had the temerity to ask why I was still hitting her. I realized then that beating her up was not enough to humble her, I had to remind her how worthless she was I had to let her know that she was lucky to be with her. So I started by asking her why she always made me ht her when she knew there was nothing I loved more than a quiet night in, right in the middle of my diatribe, the bitch began to cough! “SHUT UP!” I roared, slapping her once more, by this time she was already on her knees once more and after the slap, she started to cough up blood. I paused with my hand poised for another slap. I waited for the blood to stop, but she kept on coughing up amazing amounts of blood. She slid to the ground in the fetal position and coughed twice. All was still and I got scared, if she died from my beating there would be no way to explain it. I had beaten her up the way thieves would have beaten up a victim. Thieves! That gave me an idea. I ran upstairs, washed my face and hands and changed back into the clothes I wore to work that morning and went back downstairs to put her into the car.

My World... Jarwhol

There are days when the world as it is seems almost too much for me... too many "sane" people. On those days it seems like i stand apart from the rest of the world even more... On those days i'm lonely and weak... and i want nothing to do with other people.
On these days i move from this world into another world, a world where there is zero normalcy... here the grass is never green and the sea isn't always water... in fact things are great. No one judges me or tells me i'm weird. my best friend is half jaguar half cheetah and is called a maldeesh! his name is Yonosa. and his wife is Star. All the animals talk. and they collaborate with the mafolk. the head of the animalkind is a Bagree called Skeera! she is a great black feline of a specie i am yet to identify. She is the most beautiful creature i have ever laid my eyes on. Her fur is sleek and beautiful, her body is lean and well toned. she can stand on all fours or walk with just two feet. She is almost humanoid when she walks with two feet. she carries an aura of power around her, and trust, she does have some great powers. I have only ever seen her twice but she claims that we are great friends.
the Head of the humanfolk is a Man called Hanadnee. i have only ever seen him once from a distance. But from the stuff i hear, he is a mighty warrior. Today is one such day, so i say... come away with me... lets fly on the wings of the wind... join me in Jarwhol... Let us explore this world created to ave me from "sanity"... hee hee

Strange Things 1

She sat in the corner of the bar looking lost and when the bartender came over to ask her what she wanted, she only ordered a coke. I had been watching her for a while and she was doing an odd thing. Every few minutes she would look into her purse and wring her hands, her face would literally crumple and she would look four times her age, after a while, she seemed to give herself a mental shake and looked around as though to make sure no one was watching her. She was beautiful and I have a thing for beautiful ladies, plus I can’t stand to see a lady in distress, so I stood up and walked over to her.
“Is this seat taken?” I asked indicating the chair beside her, causing her to jump slightly even though she had been facing me when I was walking toward her. It took her an instant to compose her and she flashed me a brilliant smile that was carefree and warm at the same time, “It is now!” Was her tart reply.
I sat down with an answering smile and introduced myself to her. Still smiling she took my hand and said her name was KayCee, which was short for Morenike. After that the talk just flowed. She was quite an educated woman and seeing as how I am a lawyer – which we all know stands for Know-it-all – we had a very engaging conversation ranging from things as trifling as the latest “Nollywood” Movie to discussions as heated as the latest PDP scandal that was rocking the nation. She told me that her ideal vacation within the country would be a visit to Obudu Cattle Ranch in Cross Rivers State because she loved “all things green”! Which led me to crack a joke regarding a DNA test to ensure she was Nigerian seeing as how all Nigerians seemed to be running away from “all things green” and strolling toward “all things computerized”. She laughed and said she was a complete zero with technology. According to her, the only reason she had a cell phone was because her ex had gotten tired of trying to surmise when she was at home and had bought her an N96, which of course she could not use so she had traded it in for a 3300. I laughed, “For someone who claims to be a technology idiot, you seem to know models of phones pretty well”.
“I love numbers”, she laughingly declared. Of course I immediately asked if she knew her cell number by heart, causing her to laugh again, “You must think you are smart” she said. “Young man, if you want my number ask for it directly”. So I did. All in all it was a fun, if somewhat cheesy night.
After about an hour and a half of this type of teasing and flirting, we got up to leave the bar together. All night, underneath all the teasing, there had been a strong attraction between us both and we just knew that the night was going to end steamily, so when it was time to go, as if by some unspoken consent we left together. It was raining heavily outside and KayCee shrieked with excitement running to get under the rain. She started a funny kind of dance consisting mainly of awkward bumps and jerks… and I’m not sure but I think I might have detected some sort of attempt to wind her hips. I couldn’t help myself; I knew I would probably lose points with her, but she was so funny and so cute at the same time. I burst into laughter, I laughed so hard that I had told my sides for fear my ribs would fall out. She stopped dancing and started pouting.
“Hey, hey!” I said, walking into the rain and catching her chin with the tip of my finger gently, “Don’t do that! I’m not laughing at you. It’s just, well, you are so cute. A terrible dancer, yes! But the best bad dancer I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
She laughed, “You know you are the worst sweet talker ever, right?”
“At least I’m honest”, I retort
“Yes! At least there’s that.”
By this time she is in my arms and she’s looking into my face, while the rain drenches us both. I forget who made the move, forget who kissed whom; all that I recall is a fantastic kiss. Attempting to describe the things I felt during that kiss would belittle it, but Femi, believe me when I say there can be only one such kiss. Outside of that, the kiss was also very weird. A few seconds into it, I could have sworn that it had stopped raining and the sun had come out. Don’t be absurd, I thought to myself, it’s 2 in the morning. Yet, I could feel the rays of sunlight beating down on me, warming me up, so I thought I’d open my eyes for a bit. I did, and I can swear that I caught a glimpse of a forest before my eyes were fully opened but by the time they opened – a nanosecond later – of course we were outside in the dark rainy compound in which the bar was located. I remember I tried to pull away from the kiss, but she held me tight and deepened the kiss. “Close your eyes”, she said. I don’t know how she got it out of her mouth seeing as how she never broke the kiss, “It’s better that way”, now that I think about it, I’m not sure whether it was my ears or my mind that heard that husky timbre that was her voice but I obeyed her. This time I heard whispers and felt like we were being watched. Again, I tried to check, but I found that my eyes would not open. To my left side, I heard a woman scream; on my right I heard an animal make a sound. That sound! It was like nothing I have ever heard before, and it is like nothing I ever want to hear again, it was… it was horrible, a cross between a bark a meow, a purr a roar and a grunt. I say it was an animal sound because I cannot imagine a human being make that sound - just the thought of it is enough to make my fingers of reality begin to warp – but I don’t think any animal make that sound. Maybe then I was able to delude myself that I t was an animal. I needed to deceive myself that it was an animal.
By this time KayCee had broken away from me and was smiling into my eyes, when I looked at her, I couldn’t help but smile back. The memory of the weird things that had, maybe, occurred during our kiss was already receding and all I recalled was how great the kiss was. On that basis, I leaned in for another kiss. This time, with no conscious plan, I kept my eyes open. What I saw, I still have trouble believing, even after all that happened later that night. As soon as our lips touched, I saw the most divine woman you can imagine ten times over. She was tall, almost eight feet tall, and slim. Her skin was the color of red earth, but it was so clear that it appeared to be translucent; her eyes were the color of coals, right down to the red spark in the middle – the dying ember – she was smiling in approval and her small white teeth shone like pearls in the night. But as beautiful as this woman was, I was freaked out by her! I think this is because I saw where she had come out!
I feel my sanity going even as I tell you this. She had come out of KayCee! Yes, yes! That goddess had pushed her way out from between KayCee’s skirt, so I can only presume that she had come from between KayCee’s thighs, all eight feet of her. She was so tall that when her back reached the floor, she had to begin slithering in order to free herself from KayCee’s body. It was awful!
I tried to free my self from KayCee’s grip in order to scream, she held me in place with surprisingly strong arms and sighed. “The human body is a beautifully terrible thing. It says so much more than words ever could, I see you’ve seen my child.” At these words, I felt my sanity begin to slide, I began to chant a poem that used to calm me down as a child.
“Oh my home!
Oh my home!
When shall I see my home?
When shall I see my loving home?
I will never forget my home!”...

To be continued...

This Job Thing

NYSC is almost over and it seems like every one seems to know what is happening next for them, this thought was uppermost in Nkechi's mind that day. I mean, I have no clue what I am going to do next. Should I go to school or should I find a job. She shook head and laughed, "Get a job?" this was asked aloud, "Even if I decide i want to get a job, What kind of job can I get? The only things I seem to be interested in don't seem to be money makers!"

She ran her hands through her her and sighed deeply, getting up and strolling into the bathroom where she sat down on the rim of the bath tub to think. Ok, Nkechi what are you good at? I love to read, so I can edit books. I can write or so I think... but what kind of careers will such passions afford me. I mean what sort of a living can I make with such passions. Even if I say I want to go back to school, that will have to be next year so I have a year at hand and I refuse ...

The phone rang at this point, interrupting her thought flow. "NKECHI!", Tara screamed so loudly that Nkechi winced and had to pull the phone away from her ears. Oblivious to this Tara continued screaming over the phone, "YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT, MY ADMISSION JUST CAME THROUGH NKECHI I AM SO EXCITED I GOT INTO PRINCETON!!!! WOOOOO! I'M DOING MY MASTERS AT PRINCETON!"

Nkechi's heart sank a little even though she was truly glad for Tara. "Oh my gosh Tara, I'm so glad for you. Wow! It worked, It really worked. That's all you, Ok? All you!" Another person who knows what to do with her life, Lord, What is going on?
"Haba, Nkechi what do you mean all me? After all you and Habiba were the ones that kept reminding me to get my application in on time and all that, you were always there! Anyway it paid off I GOT IN BABY!!!!" The girls fell into fits of delighted laughter at this outburst from Tara. When the laughter had died down some, the girls chatted for a little while while, making plans to meet up for a while the next day after work and celebrate, the Tara said something about preserving her credit and got off the line.

She let the phone slide out of her hand and used the hand to wipe across her face sliding to the floor of the bathroom as she did that. "Nkechi", she called her name aloud, "Nkechi, Nkechi, Nkechi", her voice became a sort of groan at the back of her throat. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

She stood up, caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and smiled brightly at herself. "Darling, it's obvious that you will not solve this problem tonight. At least you realise you got a problem. Here's what we are going to do. We chew on this issue and think seriously about what we need to do. Time is running out but It hasn't run out yet. Realise that you cannot be like everyone and move on. That doesn't mean you don't keep trying to figure out your corporate essence. Keep your head up babe. You won't regret. You might be a bit of a late starter, but you will make it. You have to ... failure is an unacceptable variable for you". She winked in the mirror after this self lecture, smoothed out her hair and sauntered out to rejoin the cocktail her parents had thrown in order to celebrate her finishing her service year all the while smiling to herself as she considered the irony of celebrating the end of a phase of her life when there seemed to be no new phase to step into.